Ke$ha: I Don't Know What This Is Supposed To Be (Music Monday)

If rap is dead I've got a pretty good idea who committed that 187 Saturday night. Poor Ke%ha! Even she didn't look like she was having a good time. She looked terrified, like she expected the Sandman to show up with a broom and shuffle her off stage to the tune of "Here Comes the Judge" at any minute. Unfortunately, this wasn't Showtime at the Apollo and no one was going to play "Captain Save-A-Career" on that shizzle by cutting her mic and escorting her away from our ears. Nope. She was on Saturday Night Live so she just had to deal with the near silent audience and bad robot her way through "Tik Tok" looking like Astronaut Barbie after going on a bender at James Brown's house, stealing one of his precious capes. And ... dear Lord, that girl should, never, ever dance. I thought my darling Mimi, Mariah Carey, couldn't two-step to save her life, but Ke:(ha makes her look like friggin' Debbie Allen. No, Ke#ha! No! Bad, Ke@ha! Let us never speak of this again, Ms. Shift-4. (Video via NBC, h/t ... everyone.)

Demon Sheep!

Someone just put Andy Samberg out of business, ya'll. SNL shouldn't even bother making a digital short this weekend and should just show Carly Fiorina's "Demon Sheep" online attack ad over and over. It kicks "Laser Cats" ass! I've watched it and laughed and laughed many times. I especially enjoy the part where the T-888 disguised as a sheep comes from the future to kill John Connor and Carly Fiorina's chances at becoming senator.

COMEDY GOLD!