General Snobbery

Entries in sarah palin (75)


SAY IT TO HER FACE, Les Bitches! You All Failed, Not Just the 'Alaska Disasta'

The Black Snob's one (and only) defense of Gov. Sarah Palin. Governor, you're welcome in advance.

Palin was apparently a nightmare for her campaign staff to deal with. She refused preparation help for her interview with Katie Couric and then blamed her staff, specifically Nicole Wallace, when the interview was panned as a disaster. After the Couric interview, Fox News reported, Palin turned nasty with her staff and began to accuse them of mishandling her. Palin would view press clippings of herself in the morning and throw "tantrums" over the negative coverage. There were times when she would be so nasty and angry that her staff was reduced to tears. (From the notes of FOX News Chief Political Correspondent Carl Cameron, Huffington Post)

Stop, anonymous McCain heads and Monday morning quarterbacking Republican pundits.

Just. Stop.

You know what I'm talking about.

Stop bashing Miss Wasilla, Sarah Palin, aka "Caribou Barbie." Yeah, yeah. During the election we all had our fun and our Tina Fey impressions and our "I can see Russia from my house" joke variations. All that was great. But to listen to the "anonymous" Round Robin of McCain insiders who say everything from she didn't know Africa from country or contintent to she couldn't name the members of North American Trade Agreement to that she used her status to become a "Wasilla hillbilly looting Nieman Marcuses from coast to coast" is ... how can I but this? In really, really, really poor taste. Harping constantly about how she pushed to speak on concession night andrefused to cram the night before her "big exam" with Kaite Couric says to me you are throwing poo because you want no one to look at you.

Some of the leaks are just catty. Like telling the press she once answered her hotel door in a towel and wet hair, also in a towel. What the hell does that have to do with her being a nightmare candidate? What is that supposed to imply? That she's immoral because she answered a door in a towl? That she's undignified? Wasn't that 90 percent of her appeal for the base? The fact that she was ... ahem ... "real?"

This "Sarah Palin was an ignorant, ungrateful $2,500 borrow suit coat wearing bitch" attack meme is not working on me. Even with a GOP lawyer dispatched to the frozen tundra to take back that expensive packaging and window dressing called designer suits and shoes.

You do realize, Anonymous McCain staffers when you point a finger three more point back at you? That in doing this you are further more soldifying the fact that it was, as John McCain said in his concession speech, his own failings which brought about the loss. One of those failings was Sarah Palin, a women he'd only met twice before offering her the job. It was he who picked this Nieman Marcus grifting Hillbilly who allegedly didn't know diddly about squat. "Country First" was the slogan. Who's country came first when McCain picked the alleged ignoramous, one we were repeated told was the future of the Republican Party the past two months?

These same staffers protected, defended and lied for her when the left pointed out and mocked her flaws. But when the loss hit and hit hard instead of looking within and finding their own mistakes, they've gone feral, launching the malicious, sexist attacks many accused lefties of once pulling. You have chosen this instead of going "maybe we could have responded faster to the financial crisis? Maybe 'suspending' the campaign looked like grandstanding? Maybe we did a poor job of explaining 'why McCain' while shouting 'Nobama?' Maybe we had no coherent strategy? Maybe we never knew or understood how to handle the race issue or Obama's rock star status -- other than bitch about him being a 'celebrity?' Maybe we ran McCain's campaign into the ground? Maybe he ran his campaign into the ground? The man wouldn't even work on weekends. Maybe it was because all we had were stunts and tactics but no real transformative ideas? Maybe Obama's digital and we're analog? Maybe Obama's a Mac and we're a PC? Maybe we suck?"

And if they'd ask themseves these questions they would know the truth.

You're a bunch of sour losing sons-of-bitches who, rather than be introspective and use this time to figure out where the hell you went wrong, chose to blame the bitch, the oldest routine in the book. You've already branded Palin with a scarlet letter "C" for campaign wrecker when -- j' accuse! -- It was you, all of you, McCain from the top down, complicit in this catagory five failure of temperment and judgment. The people wanted change. You couldn't offer it so you simply ripped off the word and started calling yourselves "the Original Mavericks." You went narrow when you should have made a play for the center. You picked up lame attacks that made little to no dent once the defening sound of the housing crisis imploding and Wall Street crashing came down.

Palin may have gone off script, been opportunistic, been a dim bulb, but it was the McCain campaign who was paraded her around like their new prize pony. Who sprung her from obscurity to infamy. Then you get mad because the prize pony is a "maverick" and just does "whatever." She doesn't read things. She's out for self. As I said before. If I was the lummox, I would be too. As repellent as I found her views, she was being used by the McCain campaign to ignite a recalcitrant base, and they got that.

They just lost everyone else.

That's how gambling works, McCain and anonymous McCain staffers. When you throw the die and it comes up snake eyes you don't curse the dice. You gave fate a roll and she bum-rolled you, Rick-rolled you, sushi rolled you. As The Stranger said in The Big Lebowski, "Sometimes you eat the bar, and sometimes, well, he eats you."

The "bar" just fucking ate you because of your incompetence. Deal with it! Get therapy!

And McCain? To stand silent while your running mate's legend as a moron increases is really classy, and I say "classy" as in not classy at all. It reveals your true character. Are you that compassionate, magnanimous loser from Tuesday night or are you the son of a bitch who can't say, "Knock it off, people I hired! We lost! Sarah's flawed, but the blame is shared and the bulk of it lies with me." But instead we get ... silence.

I thought she was was ready to be your vice president, Johnny Mac? I thought she was your "soul mate?" Yet there you are in the busted "Stray Talk Express" pretending to look the other way as your staffers hogtie her to the ground so you can accidently run her over a few times.

Yes, she's cocky. Yes, she's a know-nothing. But she was YOUR know-nothing. You picked the Alaska disasta.' She was your one real chance to show your executive decision making ability and you came up craps. Well, tough titty, Senator. Stand up, stand behind, stand somewhere on your decisions. Admit that it's not her, it was you. Even if you hate her. Even if you wouldn't talk to her for most of those two months. Even though you both could read the writing on the wall. You wanted your pitbull in a skirt. You wanted this dinner of regret and crow, knowing now you will never be president, knowing you were destroyed by your own bad decisions on top of the failures of the Bush Administration and hundreds of other Republican politicians and operatives.

Invite your little bitter ones to your royal feast and tell them all to shut the hell up. While making Palin look bad, they are making themselves and their former boss look ever more the worse.

Personal responsibility shouldn't just be a political catchphrase every four years. Learn it. Love it. Live it. Practice what you preached, Republicans. Show. Don't tell.


The Palin Crank Call: It's Real ... Real Sad

When a reader sent me a shout on Facebook about this story I just knew it had to be a hoax. Unfortunately for Republican veep candidate Sarah Palin, it is not. She got Punk'd by some wacky Canadian comics.

Oh Canada, indeed!

Posing as French President Nicolas Sarkozy, the Masked Avengers got all kinds of Crank Yankers on their Alaskan neighbor and it quickly goes from funny to sad to scary as no matter how out of bounds the duo gets Palin does seem to realize she's being played. Even when they bring up the "documentary"/Larry Flint porno starring her doppelganger or banging Sarkozy's model/pop star wife Carla Bruni, she just keeps agreeing and going along until they finally fess up to who they are.

Gawker's Alex Carnevale writes, "From the sound of it, even the Masked Avengers got a little spooked at how seriously they're being taken here."

Globe and Mail has the transcript and the sad, sad details.

An excerpt:

A: Thank you very much. You know my wife Carla would love to meet you, even though you know she was a bit jealous that I was supposed to speak to you today.

P: Well, give her a big hug for me.

A: You know my wife is a popular singer and a former top model and she's so hot in bed. She even wrote a song for you.

P: Oh my goodness, I didn't know that.

A: Yes, in French it's called de rouge a levre sur un cochon, or if you prefer in English, Joe the's his life, Joe the Plumber.

P: Maybe she understands some of the unfair criticism but I bet you she is such a hard worker, too, and she realizes you just plow through that criticism.

A: I just want to be sure. That phenomenon Joe the Plumber. That's not your husband, right?

P: That's not my husband but he's a normal American who just works hard and doesn't want government to take his money.

A: Yes, yes, I understand we have the equivalent of Joe the Plumber in France. It's called Marcel, the guy with bread under his armpit.

For the record, Canada:1, Palin: 0.


SNL Goes B-A-N-A-N-A-S With John McCain, Keith Olbermann, Tina Fey, Ben Affleck, The View and more

I don't know if taking time out for Saturday Night Live in the middle of a heated campaign was a smooth move for John McCain, but it was a hilarious move.

Reliving some of his SNL glory days, John McCain did a great parody of John McCain (including the nervous blinking, but I don't think he was doing that on purpose), with Tina Fey as Sarah Palin, perfect as ever ... going rogue by threatening to never leave the national stage. It's either the White House or "the white Oprah." Brava and bravo, Fey and McCain.

McCain was also pretty good on the Weekend Update segment introducing new political moves like "The Double Maverick" and "The Sad Grandpa" in which he said the strategy was to whine that Obama would have plenty of chances to be president and it was McCain's turn. Once again, what will SNL do once this is all over? The comedy show will be doing a special election episode on Monday on NBC.

The show also had some fun at MSNBC's Keith Olbermann expense. The sketch was a bit wordy and ran long (just like My Fair Keithy). It was also more than eight minutes and starred the evenings co-host Ben Affleck who kept cracking himself up while trying to shout all his lines. It eventually hit the funny button hard when Affleck did a cheesy send up of Olbermann's sometimes self-righteous "Special Comments" by making it about him trying to get a three bedroom apartment that wouldn't take him because he owned a cat. A fluffy, white, fey as all get out, cat.

There was even a sketch of "The View" and while it wasn't as good as the above three, if you closed your eyes Kristen Wiig's Elisabeth Hasselbeck was so good it was horrifying. Fred Armisen's Joy Behar was both right and wrong and one-dimensional and Joy's not that bad. As for Kennan, your Whoopi sucked, but you're the only black person on the show. I guess you can only do so much with what they give you. And Casey New Girl What's Your Face? That was a Jennifer Aniston parody? Was that the ONLY celeb they could think for you to do (or the only celeb you could do)? Lame, new girl. Very lame.