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Entries in Ron Paul (10)

Wednesday
Jan042012

Mitt Romney Barely Beats Surging Santorum While Rick Perry Adorably Continues Losing Campaign

Rick Perry keeps running, literally and in the race for 2012. (Via Twitter)In the latest round of "Anybody But Mittens," Mitt Romney barely beat out a booming Rick Santorum for an Iowa Caucus win. And by "barely," I mean there's an eight vote difference. But ol' Ricky Santorum even getting this far is an amazing feat considering the game of musical chairs various GOP candidates have played in their fight for front-runner.

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Tuesday
Dec272011

GOP Puts Out Hit On 'Racist' Ron Paul Over Iowa

"Ball so hard, these Republicans wanna fine me."

Man, how worried do you think the GOP is about Ron Paul winning a state? I think they're pretty worried. Like, cry, gnash teeth and pull hair worried. They're actually attacking Ron Paul! With mean words and warnings and EVERYTHING! CNN is chasing him around, demanding "answers" to things! Folks are trying super hard to make that "Ron Paul is probably a racist bigot" thing ... a thing! There's even a fake Twitter about it! He's a Real Live Candidate! 

He's arrived! And he's arrived with the potential to destroy, like Galactus: Devourer of Worlds.

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Tuesday
Dec202011

Everybody Panic! Kim Jong Il Is Dead As GOP Candidates Rattle Sabers At Iran

Sunday night word finally made it's way to the rest of the world that "Dear Leader" Kim Jong Il of the "People's Democratic Republic" of Korea, aka the "Best" Korea, had died on a train. Of course, who knows if that's true, being as North Korea is a completely cut-off country trapped in a ruthless dictatorship. Kim Jong Il could have died from an orgy or eating too many jelly beans or could have died three years ago and he was pulling a "Sixth Sense" all this time. You don't know. I don't know.

It's North Korea.

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