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Entries in Rick Santorum (14)

Wednesday
May092012

Santorum Passive-Aggressively Endorses Romney In Email

"What? Burying an endorsement in an email isn't cool these days? An endorsement is an endorsement, Jay. He's lucky I didn't write it out with flaming bags of dog poop."

Rick Santorum of the Losing-the-GOP-Nomination-Santorums doesn't like Mitt Romney. And not in that, "All is far in love and politics," "let's have a good ol' roudy-bout and give them a show" competitive sort of way. No. This is a real, tangible, deep-seated John McCain-esque dislike, where disdain is covered in a patina of smirk and a low register grumble. Where all smiles are asymmetrical, Dick Cheney style, and all endorsements are said through grit teeth. Or, in the case of Santorum endorsing My Fair Mittens via email.

Mad harsh, son.

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Wednesday
Apr112012

Mitt Romney Can See Clearly Now That the Rick Santorum Rain Is Gone

Glorious day! Mitt "Mittens" Romney has bounded from his winter dwelling and into springtime's nomination meadow. His old, thick winter hair coat now shed, and now the candidate is sporting a shorter, shiner new thicket of Ken doll like hair. But what has brought the rose back to his robotic cheeks? What has returned the dew to his eyes designed by a genetic lab in the basement of Monsanto?

Is it? Can it? Dare it be true?

DING-DONG THE SANTORUM IS DEAD!

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Wednesday
Mar142012

President Obama Enjoys Hot Dog While GOP Delegate Deathmatch Rages On

Last night as results rolled in from GOP races in Alabama, Mississippi and Hawaii, current Commander-In-Chief Barack Obama was busy hot dogging his way through some March Madness, taking UK Prime Minister David Cameron to a basketball game. It was essentially the most high powered form of a play date you could ever have.

But while other heads of state were chowing down and discussing their sports of choice -- the GOP continued its quixotic and often demoralizing race to find out who gets to go up against Obama in the fall.

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