General Snobbery

Entries in parents (5)


Motherhood In Retrograde: Can People Miss What They Never Had?

My college-educated, former school teacher mother chose myself and my two sisters over her career. It was a choice she and my father made together. (Picture, my mother and my baby sister, Deidre)Feminism is back, guys! (Of course, if you ask the editors at Ms. Magazine and the women of NOW, it never left.) But thanks to Sheryl Sandberg's book "Lean In" and its advice that women need to stop pussyfooting around and get to running stuff everyone's talking about feminism like it's 1969. Case in point: New York Magazine has a feature called "The Feminist Housewife" which I thought was going to be about someone like my mom -- a woman who chose a traditional marriage but raised her daughters to be independent and self-starters -- but instead it's just about some lady who really likes staying at home, raising her kids and still believes in all the traditional gender roles.

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Clutch Magazine: Choosing Safety Over Independence For Black Children

In my latest post for Clutch Magazine Online, I write at length about the efforts black parents go through to keep their children safe, even at the expense of their child developing better skills to be independent. While it may be easy to throw out advice and parenting rules and bring up all sorts of psychology studies to black parents, most are solely concerned with making sure their son or daughter doesn't become a statistic, freedom be damned.

Here's a snippet after the jump.

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Clutch Magazine: Surviving Mom and Dad's Basement

As a two-time veteran of getting stuck at your parents' house even though you're an adult who's lived on their own for years, I decided to give some tips to the readers at Clutch Magazine Online. Namely, set some boundaries if you don't want to have the weird, slightly co-dependent relationship I have with my own mother.

Here's a snippet:

Speaking of 2007, that was when I made my first return to the homestead after I left a job as a newspaper reporter to get my head, life, and career back together while not having to worry about rent. I can’t say I handled my first trip back to the basement all that well, considering I was severely ill at the time, battling Bipolar Disorder and was extremely depressed. I was largely unpleasant to be around and mostly wanted to disappear into the concrete beneath my basement, bedroom floor. But since my slightly older-than-most-Boomer parents are really more like Depression Era survivors, with their fiscal nature and love of saving, I received less grief about my finances and more grief about being an adult my mother still saw as her child.

Nothing like being suddenly informed you have a curfew at 30 years old.

Read the full post at Clutch Magazine Online.