The Snob In New Book "Where Did Our Love Go?"

The Snob recently got published in Gil L. Robertson, IV's new essay compilation book Where Did Our Love Go? It's a book about black love and marriage and what has changed about both those things in recent years. I contributed a chapter on why marriage is less popular than it used to be under the "divorced" section called "The Problem With Marriage." As long-time Snob readers know, I was briefly married in my early 20s and watched that bake, crack and dry up in the hot West Texas sun. It hasn't made me bitter, but it did open my eyes to some realities about myself and what marriage is and isn't.

Extended snippet after the jump.

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Married Folks Are "Almost" A Minority At 51 Percent

Pew recently released a study announcing that the United States married population has dropped considerably since the 1960s! Today, of people 18 years old and up, only 51 percent are married. But in 1960, that number was more like 72 percent. While I'm sure (very sure) some folks will use this to clutch their pearls and start screaming about feminists or whatever, the reality is ... who gets married out of high school anymore?

Because that's what they used to do in 1960.

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The Snob On NPR Talking Student Loans, Marriage and Kim Kardashian's Divorce

The Snob returned to NPR's "Tell Me More" Tuesday to chit chat about President Obama's student loan pay down plan, Kim Kardashian's "soap opera" love life, the gender complexities of modern love and marriage, and how the "scarcity model" (re: EVERYBODY MARRIAGE PANIC!) affects women views of relationships and each other. Michel Martin was out Tuesday, so Allison Keyes guest hosted our rousing conversation where I'm pretty sure my eyes rolled out of my head while talking about Kim Kardashian's divorce, as always. I'm a habitual eye roll offender, which is probably a good 60 percent for why I keep getting invited back to the show. Joining me on the show were the awesome Latoya Peterson of Racialicious, NPR Digital News Editor Tanya Ballard Brown and Jezebel Editor-in-Chief Jessica Coen.

Listen to the show after the jump.

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I'm A Broken Record When It Comes To The Black Marriage Crisis

As many of my friends, peers and the occasional curious reader knows sometimes, for no reason, upon being asked a simple question I'll launch into a lengthy email screed. I'm pretty hit or miss about it. Usually my email replies are only a few sentences, but sometimes I'll write you a book on racial motifs in Star Trek or something else random. So, today, Fotorater Magazine founder/editor Marc Cameron emailed me a link from Vice, featuring an interview with Is Marriage For White People? author, Stanford Law Professor Ralph Banks and my head exploded. What flew out of the remains of my skull was a "greatest hits" rehash of my issues with the marriage crisis debate.

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The Root's Jeneé Desmond-Harris Does Some Black Marriage Crisis Push-Back

Want to add some weapons to your "Ugh, I hate all these black marriage panic stories" arsenal? Today over on The Root, Jeneé Desmond-Harris chatted with two researchers who provided counter arguments and narratives to the greatest panic of our "Post-Racial" age -- Why your Cousin Earnestine can't get a man. The counter research argues she'll probably get a man before she turns 35, since quite a few women get married by then, pointing out our "never married" stats are skewed since the "black woman never married" stat starts counting from age 18 and up. Most folks, no matter what their race or socio-economic status is in America, are not putting a ring on it out of high school, let alone by 25. Also, most black men at the tune of more than 80 percent and up are still marrying black women. Even your wealthy ones, which just one sitting of "Basketball Wives" will demonstrate to you, still mostly date and marry black women. (Even if "Basketball Wives" also demonstrates that these black women they desire are also fundamentally insane.) So, just put these statistics in your pillow and spoon with them at night until they turn into the Nubian prince of your dreams. (The Root)

White Man-Based Solution to Black Marriage Panic Hits Wall Street Journal

Image from film "Lakeview Terrace."Ever since black people worrying about black women getting married escaped from the Ebony-Essence plantation and hit the mainstream black ladies have been forced to endure article after navel-gazing article about what the "EFF" is wrong with us. I blame the Obamas, kind of. They're married. They seem to be happy. They happen to be black people. So other folks started wondering things like "Black people get married n' stuff? What's up with that?" Then they found that Jet Magazine from 1987 and started copying. This time it's The Wall Street Journal getting their pearl clutching on -- but they've come with solutions! And, surprise! It's a penis attached to a white man who may or may not want you!

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Black Men Blame Media, Themselves For Less Cliff Huxtable, More "Papa Was A Rolling Stone" Stereotype

For Father's Day this Sunday, The Root did a poll of black dads talking about the "bad rap" they get, with 64 percent of those men blaming the media for the negative perception. But, 21 percent of those polled also blamed black men themselves for the problematic reputation of being non-existent or negligent fathers. 

More after the jump.

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Coming This Monday -- Menfolk: How You Doin'?

Coming to a Snob Blog near you, a new feature I like to call "Menfolk: How You Doin'?"

As womenfolk we can sometimes find ourselves talking into circles over sex, love, dating, marriage and other issues that sometimes involve those people with penises. So, I decided to hit up some black male long-time readers of mine -- some married, some not -- and ask them what they thought about the so-called "Black Marriage Crisis." After all, the black men in this debate were rapidly turning into Ralph Ellison's famed "Invisible Man." Either painted as no-good layabouts, players or white women-chasing, self-loathing miscreants who wouldn't piss on us even if we were on fire. Naturally, with all this negative press SOME dudes would be all "AHEM! I'm standing right here and I can HEAR you!"

I asked my readers/friends to be BLUNT. In some cases painfully so (but not mean). What I learned was fascinating and I will be sharing my report, warts and all, come Monday.

I decided to do this because often times people have a tendency to talk "at" each other and not "too" each other on this issue. And while it is easy to just lay all the blame on one side versus the other, these chats revealed things to be much more complicated than they appear.

Here's just a sample from a man friend I like to call "Brody":

There are plenty of good black men out there, but black women aren't interested (in my opinion). I'm fortunate to have quite a few female friends and these women primarily single because:
 
1) They're wasting time with guys that are clearly not interested in anything but sex. (We'd be here forever so I'll leave it at that)
 
2) They have good guys that are interested in them but they're not interested in the guys. (Instead) holding out for guys that have been stringing them along for 5 years or more, literally.

Check back on Monday for the full story!