Santorum Sez: Going to College Turns You Into Barack Obama

As if that's a bad thing.

Rick Santorum, college graduate and presidential candidate, recently argued that Barack Obama, college graduate and current president of the United States, was a "snob" because he wanted all Americans to have the opportunity to go to college. Santorum argued that this seemingly benign thing had malevolent intent because college is the place Liberals are made -- or something. Ignoring the fact that pretty much everyone running for president, including himself, went to college, and in the case of the GOP candidates, somehow they all went to college and weren't turned into sodomites and radical black leftists. Nope. They went to college and are still their same obnoxious, narcissistic selves. Because, as you know, college is a place where you get an education, not a "re-education."

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Michelle Obama: Ultimate Running, Jumping, Re-election Weapon

First Lady Michelle Obama participates in a tug of war with Jimmy Fallon in the Diplomatic Reception Room of the White House during a “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” taping for the second anniversary of the "Let’s Move!" initiative, Jan. 25, 2012. (Official White House Photo by Chuck Kennedy)If you're the kind of person who still gets a kick out of seeing the First Lady out and about, it's been a Michelle Obama footage bonanza the last few days. Mrs. O seems to be strategically (and adorably) running around as a primary election-day distraction and a fun, happy contrast to the withering GOP field of unlikeable candidates. And it's only going to get even more fun now that the White House has announced today that Michelle Obama is hitting the road to celebrate her "Let's Move" campaign's second anniversary, touring the country.

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Rick Santorum Is All Up In Your Elections, Stealing Your Non-Binding Delegates

Adding to the bizarreness of an already bizarre GOP race for a presidential nominee, Rick Santorum won three non-binding Republican contests in Minnesota, Missouri and Colorado. No one gets any delegates. (Missouri's contest was a "beauty pageant" the other 76 ethereal delegates up for grabs between Minnesota and Colorado are mired in some procedural gobbly-gook.) But more valuable than that, the winner gets an extended media narrative! Yes! Today is Rick Santorum's day to demand that people pay attention to him and his win and not "blah, blah why does everyone hate Mittens?"

But seriously, the press asks, "Why does everyone HATE Mittens?"

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Going Newt-clear In Florida, Romney Surges Ahead Vote

Today's the day of the Florida Republican Primary! (Although early voting has been going on for a bit and more than half-a-million votes were cast before today.) Although its still (technically) a four-man race, Rick Santorum is tending to a sick daughter and Ron Paul is focusing on greener primary pastures. That just leaves your unloveable front-runners, Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich.

And Mittens is in the lead ... (for now).

That lead didn't come easy, since Gingrich was on the rise after race-baiting his way into a South Carolina win. But will a poor debate performance from Gingrich and a lot of passive aggressive "Isn't that so sad that Newt Gingrich is so unfaithful and pathetic? He just can't help it!" from Romney.

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Gingrich: Adultery Makes Me More Human Than Mitt "Only Sexes Up His Wife" Romney

Can you see past a weakness so hard that it turns into a strength? Presidential wannabe Newt Gingrich tried to pull that off in an interview with CBN's David Brody where Gingrich tried to spin his "past weaknesses" as making him more "human" than everyone's favorite Republican Robot, Mitt Romney.

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The Return of "When Obama Love Goes Wrong": OBAMA HULK SMASH

During the 2008 campaign we were inundated in any and everything Barack Obama. From dolls (both cute and scary) to music (both good and Black Eye Peas bad), to tacky velvet paintings of Obama, MLK and Malcolm X while Jesus looks on them from Civil Rights Heaven. While Obama-mania is unlikely to strike twice, he's still an iconic and historic figure (that's what you get when you're the first of something), worth immortalizing in weird ways. In my first "When Obama Love Goes Wrong/Extreme Obama/LOL Obama" of 2012, I now announce the president's re-election campaign in full swing. I give you -- Obama Hulk. He HULK SMASHES Republicans. You wouldn't like him when he is angry. (Via Animal NY)

Ariz. Gov. Jan Brewer's Finger Remains Unbitten In President Obama Confrontation

Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer's finger found her way into President Obama's face Wednesday when he stopped in the great state of sunning seniors and low allergens to do "presidential stuff." But another day, another indignity from people who act like it's the hardest thing ever to respect the office even if you don't like the man.

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Clutch Magazine: Two Ex-Wives Don't Make the Third One Right, Newt

For Clutch Magazine this week I tackle the complicated path the third wife of Newt Gingrich must walk. Last week, Gingrich's second wife spoke to ABC News about how she got dealt dirty by former Speaker of the House... just like his first wife. And the story of Gingrich's past loves is a series of other women becoming "Mrs. Other Woman." But can you cry victim in a relationship (as Marianne, wife No. 2 has done), when you knew he abandoned his first wife after she got cancer? Can wife No. 3 Callista Gingrich ever feel secure when she's married to an impulsive serial adulterer?

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President Obama To Give State of the Union Tonight

President Barack Obama talks with Jon Favreau, Director of Speechwriting, in the Oval Office, Jan. 23, 2012. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)

State of the Union is tonight! It's time for the president to tell us what's what! (And to unofficially kick off his 2012 re-election by reminding you of what is at stake, making his case on why he should get another term.) If we get lucky, maybe he'll finish singing that Al Green song so we can get a proper assessment of the tonal quality of his crooning.

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