Drama-Rama in the McCain Campaign

The criticism keeps coming about John McCain picking Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin for vice president. And no matter how the talking heads spin it, most presidential candidates -- Democrat or Republican -- would not have tapped a woman under investigation for some duplicitous firing situation, who was dealing with the sensitive family drama of teen pregnancy and was so far to the right of Attila the Hun that her views and her novice nature on the national (and international) scene scare the pants of independents and Democrats.

I already thought Palin was a hasty decision, made in the wee hours after the closing of the Democratic National Convention. She was an reactionary pick, a gut check, not thought through. And this looks more and more like the truth with the Republican Party dispatching operatives to Alaska as fast as the press and the tabloids are.

Aides to Mr. McCain said they had a team on the ground in Alaska now to look more thoroughly into Ms. Palin’s background. A Republican with ties to the campaign said the team assigned to vet Ms. Palin in Alaska had not arrived there until Thursday, a day before Mr. McCain stunned the political world with his vice-presidential choice. The campaign was still calling Republican operatives as late as Sunday night asking them to go to Alaska to deal with the unexpected candidacy of Ms. Palin. (NYT)

People will toss the tundra in search for all the dirt they can find on Mrs. Clean and we're heading into bizarre territory with so many odd skeletons falling out of Palin's political and personal closet.

She has a private lawyer in an ethics investigation trying to determine whether "she abused her power in dismissing the state’s public safety commissioner;" and her husband was convicted 22-years-ago on a DUI charge. (NYT)

The scandal "Troopergate" involves Palin, members of her staff and her husband pressuring the state's public safety commissioner to fire her brother-in-law who was in the middle of a contentious divorce with her sister. (Anchorage Daily News via Jack and Jill Politics)

Palin has her own controversial pastor troubles -- an ongoing them in the 2008 race with Rev. Wright, then Rev. Hagee and now with Wasilla Assembly of God Pastor Ed Kalnins who has "preached that critics of President Bush will be banished to hell; questioned whether people who voted for Sen. John Kerry in 2004 would be accepted to heaven; charged that the 9/11 terrorist attacks and war in Iraq were part of a war 'contending for your faith;' and said that Jesus 'operated from that position of war mode.'" (Huffington Post)

She depending on who you ask, she backed controversial candidate Pat Buchanan's presidential run. She said she didn't. Pat Buchanan said she did. (Washington Post)

Palin has a much more complicated relationship with embattled, indicted Republican Sen. Ted Stevens and flip-flopped on "The Bridge to Nowhere" deal. (Washington Post)

Palin was fine with earmarks when she was Mayor of Wasilla, securing a lot of government cash for her city. (Washington Post)

She is against abortion, even in the cases of rape or incest. (Jack and Jill Politics)

She was almost recalled as mayor of Wasilla after she tried to have the police chief and library director fired for not supporting her reelection campaign in 1996. (Huffington Post) (Jack and Jill Politics)

Then there's the matter of her pregnant teen daughter, thrust into the spotlight. She and her mother are being lauded by the right while ignoring the hypocrisy of holding two diametrically opposing views at once.

Despite the whole "teen premarital sex" issue that the vast majority of Christian conservatives claim they are against, including pushing abstinence only education, everyone seems "OK," arguing teen pregnancy is "normal." I can't help but think their opinion would be different if it were anyone else (see the Obama daughters if they were older). It was Christian conservatives who worried Jamie Lyn Spears pregnancy glamorized teen pregnancy. And the abstinence only program teaches that all birth control methods are unreliable so you shouldn't have sex at all until you are married. Of course, teens being teens, they have sex anyway. Only now, unsafe, unprotected sex. But for some reason everything is grand with the same crowd who usually bemoans behavior.

Yet another mixed message. Premarital sex is OK, as long as you marry the person you're doing it with ... eventually. Glad to know the goal posts got moved back a bit more.

The more and more that trickles out the more and more I'm positive she was never vetted no matter what the McCain campaign says. She would be leper in the eyes of most president wannabes, the equivalent of Barack Obama selecting Kwame Kilpatrick as his no. 2. No one would want this kind of negative press, not to mention all the gross shock jock talk about Palin's comeliness and McCain's penchant for pretty ladies. If Hillary's sin was being dumpy and always wearing pantsuits, Palin's cross to bare will be her youth and beauty ... further compounded by the investigations and baby dramas.

I don't care how much the base loves her. The based would have loved a lot of pro-lifers who were being vetted. But McCain couldn't have Liebermann or Tom Ridge so he chose the craziest veep pick ever.

What else is going to happen? Is the woman going to appear in a grainy picture of the grassy knoll? Did she really kill Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman?

If Palin was a roll of the dice, I'm starting to think McCain shot craps.

On the Trail: Hanging Out With Barack, Michelle and the Bidens

This woman couldn't resist getting a touch of that Obama-Biden **twinkle** magic. She looks crazy as hell, but I commend her on her sheer boldness alone as she poses, crouched down, playa-pimp style, like she's posing in front of a ghettotastic airbrush background of a tropical island at Skate King. Back in reality land, the 'Bama-Bidens are having some nosh at the Yankee Kitchen Family Restaurant in Pennsylvania over the weekend. The following pictures are of what they did right after the Democratic Convention wrapped on Thursday.

Leaving Denver ... only to ...

The Obama-Bidens arrive in Pittsburgh, Penn.

Obama: "Who loves you, baby? The Obama-Bidens do! Stay beautiful, people."
Biden: "Wheeeeeeeeeee! I'm a veepeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Quay Park Rally in Beaver, Penn.

Barack, Michelle and Jill Biden are so good looking it actually raises Mad Joe's looks by 50 percent. Looking sharp like Mack the Knife*, Crazy Joe!

Windmill Ice Cream Shop in Aliquippa, Penn.

Ooo you make me live now, honey
Ooo you make me live
You're my best friend!**

Barack, obviously not lactose intolerant, goes to town on an ice cream cone.

"Mmm. Mmmm!"

"Tastes as sweet as a 50 state strategy. Mmm. MMMMM!"

"Ooh Gawd, this is good!"

"Mmm ... I hope they never change this flavor. It has a taste I can believe in."

Chillin' in Pittsburgh, Penn.

Every time I see "Mad Dog" Joe Biden he has a glint in his eye. During their joint interview with Steve Kroft for "60 Minutes" Sunday, once again, I thought Mad Dog was on the verge of tears when Barack was singing his praises. When I didn't think he was about to cry he was bouncing off the walls like a hyperactive six-year-old, so giddy about being on the ticket that he has energy that goes beyond his age. Mad Dog is ready to take a bite out of the GOP for you, Barack! Hold him back until it's the right time to let 'em loose!

Barack and Biden with NFL coach Mike Tomlin.

Yankee Kitchen Restaurant Family Restaurant

Jill: What looks good?
Michelle: Hmmm ... I'm going to have the hope with a side of change.

Funeral for Rep. Stephanie Tubbs-Jones of Ohio

Bill and Hillary Clinton, along with Barack, said good-bye to the fiesty Tubbs-Jones, one of the few Democrats to balk at voting for the war in Iraq. She was a ride-or-die Clintonista during the primary campaign, but in the end, she was a Democrat, willing to support the party nominee. She passed away suddenly of a brain aneurysm in August. She was the first black woman to represent Ohio in the House of Representatives. She was only 58 when she died. She's also the seventh member of Congress to die this year.

The Clintons were close friends of Tubbs-Jones.

And more photos from "A Night In History"

Obviously, I wasn't able to find ALL the pictures I wanted from the last night of the Democratic Convention. (I know, you're like, "There's more?" And I'm all, "Hell's yeah!") So let's hit rewind and give it one more time, with feeling for the future first and second families, their big party and a whole lotta crying delegates.

Sometimes that hope/change gets you right in the gully.

If I could find this picture in a larger pic with a high resolution I would make it my computer wallpaper.

Heart officially melting. Want to hug the nearest black man I can find who is taller than me. I can feel my objectivity slipping. The Obama crack is seeping into my brain ... I ... I'm trying to fight it, but I ... I ... I can't. I want ... no ... Need more! I can't fight it! I'm too weak. It's a black man LOVING his woman, ya'll! Protecting the black woman who fights for him. Supporting her and her supporting him.

See? This is why most black women are ride-or-die Team Obama. Who cares about him? It's all about Michelle and the girls and how he treats them. Sisters can't get enough of this. It's both sad and inspiring at the same time. Sad, that the black family is so out-of-whack that we go gaga over a Daddy/Hubby doing what a Daddy/Hubby is supposed to do. Barack picks up Sasha and we're close to fainting because of the lack of father/daughter unconditional love in our lives. For us who have fathers involved, it's a different feeling, being proud to see your life represented on the largest stage in the world -- proof that you are not some freak.

The good side is that I think these images are great therapy to re-educate minds corrupted with a Westernized standard of beauty and esteem that most blacks feel are impossible to recreate. Barack, Michelle and the girls show folks that there is another, better way, to buck the system and do what uniquely resonates in your heart. Not what you think society (from family to the government) wants you to be.

We will get high of this supply all day. If anything ever goes bad in the Obama marriage black women will be the first one's holding candlelight vigils and prayers services, lobbying Oprah to intervene. Never have I prayed that God keep Barack humble and not pull an Edwards, "I'm so fucking awesome that I can screw anyone and be invincible." But nothing in Barack's public persona exhibits that. Still, I'm praying. Nothing must kill our dream! NOTHING!

Sasha, for once, kind of amped (even if she got bored a little later and had her head in mommy's lap.

I saw these three pictures of Barack Obama at the podium and aside from the whole "halo," Holy Trinity vibe going on here, it actually made me think of The Killers' song off of their second album, "Sam's Town," "When You Were Young."

He doesn't look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you remember when you were young

I'm still trying to decipher what the hell that song is about, but it's still a good rock track.

Everybody's Delegate Cries

Illinois Delegates

Mississippi Delegate

Alabama Delegates

New York Delegate

*When The Snob starting singing jazz standards six years ago, "Mack the Knife" was the first song I learned how to sing and mastered so that I could whip it out at any time. It's also one of my favorite songs, period. It's about a murdering mobster. It's the original "Thug Life" anthem.

**Lyrics to Queen's "You're My Best Friend."

Doomed Romance: Disappearing Acts

When you've had a series of romances that are ill fated before they even get off the ground you start to wonder, "Is it me?"

We all have our own pathologies we bring to a relationship. Subconsciously we are looking for people like our parents, but who can give us something our parents could not. Sometimes we're rebels, looking for someone the opposite of what we've known. And some of us just don't know what we're looking for at all.

The following contributor wants love badly, but has trouble holding on to it. With most relationships barely lasting a month or more, love has been elusive and the disappointment has been routine.

"Is it me?" she's wondering. She's not the first person to ask this question.

DISAPPEARING ACTS

I met this guy at the club (of all places).

He was tall, dreads, and all kind of sexy. So I went up to him, put my fingers through his hair and told him "I love your dreads" and left it at that. Later on that night in the club I found him again and asked him to dance he said yes and we exchanged numbers. I didn't expect him to call me, but he did. We hit it off immediately and talked on the phone for hours. He wanted to see me again over the weekend so we made plans.

When we went out we had a good time. We went to the park, the movies, ate out and we kissed which seemed like forever. I told my self a million times don't fall for this guy too quick. But I was tired of putting my guard up, so I put it down.

We spoke on the phone numerous times and then I went up to his house. We had a good time, but no sex. Then I decided to ask him where he thought we were going with this, he kept telling me that he wasn't ready for a relationship and giving me the run-around. A week later he suddenly stopped picking up his phone.

After three days of not picking up the phone I started to notice the pattern, one I had with every guy I dated. I kept thinking he normally calls back, if anything was wrong he knows my email address. I kept telling myself, "It's no big deal. He'll call." I finally decided to email him and then he wrote me back saying that he wasn't ready for a relationship and he knew I wanted one. He said he didn't want to mislead me and didn't mean to mislead me if he had.

I was stunned.

I tried to pretend I wasn't, but deep down I wanted him. I really thought we hit it off. I couldn't get over him. There were nights I just couldn't sleep wondering what was it I did wrong this time? Was I wrong to ask him? What if I didn't ask him? Why does this always to happen to me? I got angry with myself, kept rewinding the past from what he said to me and what we did. Trying to find the signs.

As of now I haven't gone on a date. This happened in the month of October 2007. I decided to take a year off from dating cause I just kept running into the same scenario time and time again. I'm hoping the next time I'm on a date it'll be for keeps.

Palin: Daughter Pregnant! (Again?)

From Politico.com:

Besieged by blog rumors about her 17-year-old daughter, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin — named Friday as running mate of Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) — released a statement Monday saying her daughter is pregnant and plans to marry the father.

The governor and her husband, Todd, said their daughter, Bristol, plans to keep the baby.

"Our beautiful daughter Bristol came to us with news that as parents we knew would make her grow up faster than we had ever planned," the Palins said in the statement. "As Bristol faces the responsibilities of adulthood, she knows she has our unconditional love and support."

Liberal bloggers have speculated extensively about the possibility that Palin's fifth child, born this spring, was actually her daughter's.

Hmmmm ... this doesn't sound good and doesn't exactly kill that rumor. At. All. Now people will be even more determined.

This is very much starting to turn into an Tom Eagleton situation, but let's see what happens. There's a hurricane going on in the gulf coast so this isn't going to get the kind of attention it normally would in the 24-hour news cycle.

A politician's kids should not be part of the debate, but with Gov. Sarah Palin using the culture wars and her own family values as her conservative credentials, the private and personal becomes the public and judgmental pretty fast. And left is BRUTAL on family values candidates who have a house out of order, often calling them hypocrites.

I feel sorry for 17-year-old Bristol Palin. Her mom really should have thought about what this campaign, what the press would do to her when there is this juicy of a rumor floating about the internet that her mother's youngest is really her baby. And saying she's pregnant now doesn't really kill the rumor, but make people even more curious. It's just messed up because as much as I don't want McCain/Palin to win, the daughter's exploits should be separate from her mother's campaign ... even if the mother is using her family as evidence of her piousness and judgment.

If anything, this makes John McCain look very reckless in his VP pick. (The New York Post claims McCain knew about the pregnancy before he picked her.) Most politicians wouldn't have risked this due to the unknown fall-out. I still think Palin was not vetted and McCain went with his gut.

His dangerous, Crazy gut. And that's why the prospect of him in the White House frightens me. If he can be this out-of-control when picking a veep I'm scared to see how he's going to deal with Vlad the Putin.

Snob News Nuggets

Today a couple of my BFFs are visiting. They're my two best friends from Bakersfield -- the newly ordained Anglican priest and the current, seminary attending Episcopalian postulate. They're my two red-headed Irish-Dutch and Irish-German sisters, so I probably won't be doing much updating today. (Although I could talk about strategy to counteract the Palin pick ALL DAY!)

The "Doomed Romance" series should resume this week. I was inundated in political news (obviously) and the series was bumped in favor of the Democratic Convention. Now the Republican Convention is set to kick off and a hurricane is bearing down on the gulf coast just after the three year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. Let's hope that everyone is spared the grief that plagued the region three years ago. But if the hurricane is devastating, let's hope FEMA and the Bush Administration doesn't sit idle while people drown. I can't/won't stand for it if I have to turn on the news and see what I saw three years ago. I'm not interested in crying for months, looking at people lose everything.

Tom Brokaw is getting on my last nerves. I miss Tim Russert on "Meet the Press," so much. And even though he's no Timmy, I wish they'd just put David Gregory on there. Brokaw just let's the people he interviews go on and on and he doesn't challenge them very often. Today he had Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty on and didn't ask once if Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin was more qualified than him to be vice president. He was a runner-up. Everyone knew he was being vetted along with Tom Ridge, Carly Fiorina, Joe Lieberman and Mitt "Mittens" Romney. He's on McCain's team. So what was wrong with him? That would have been my no. 1 question. How is Palin more qualified than you who's been governor longer of a bigger and more complicated state? But noooo ... Brokaw just sat there and let the man babble endlessly about Palin's accomplishments -- which more and more sound quaint rather than remarkable, like a high school extra-curricular resume where you rattle off you were president of the glee club and was a member of the Honors Society.

Also, fellow blogger and black nerd, Afronerd, is hosting author Jeremiah Camara on his radio show tonight. They'll be talking about Camara's new book, Holy Lockdown: Does the Church Limit Black Progress? (Hmm. I might have to check out that book.) They'll also talk about Camara's work on a "Holy Lockdown" documentary as well as his response to CNN's Black in America series. The show starts at 7 p.m. EST. To call in "live" dial 646-915-9620 or reach Afronerd via email/IM at afronerdradio@yahoo.

You Don't Know Her Name

Barack Obama gave an awesome, awe inspiring, inspirational, sensational acceptance speech. It had a little something for everyone and appealed to both populists and pugilists. He showed he could do the dance of politics while dazzling the proletariat. It was great. And everyone agreed. Even Pat Buchanan and the boys on FOX News. MSNBC's Keith Olbermann went off, on air nonetheless, over the lone, rouge Associated Press wire editorialist who dared to say otherwise. The fireworks, the cheering crowds. Say what you want, as Papa Snob said while admiring the 85 thousand plus in the Mile High city, "That's impressive."

And you know that's what the opposition thought too.

Which explains yesterday's "'Hail Mary' pass." And I didn't call John McCain's pick of Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin for Vice President of the United States, a Hail Mary. Republican strategist and CNN commentator Ed Rollins called it that. In the history of "WTFs" this one was huge. Right up there with Britney Spears shaving her head bald and Julia Roberts marrying Lyle Lovett.

I wasn't the only one who smelled a strong whiff of desperation.

Let’s stop pretending this race is as close as national polling suggests. The truth is McCain is essentially tied or trailing in every swing state that matters — and too close for comfort in several states like Indiana and Montana the GOP usually wins pretty easily in presidential races. On top of that, voters seem very inclined to elect Democrats in general this election — and very sick of the Bush years.

McCain could easily lose in an electoral landslide. That is the private view of Democrats and Republicans alike.

McCain’s pick shows he is not pretending. Politicians, even “mavericks” like McCain, play it safe when they think they are winning — or see an easy path to winning. They roll the dice only when they know that the risks of conventionality are greater than the risks of boldness. ("6 things the Palin pick says about McCain," by Jim Vandehei and John F. Harris, Politico.com)

I still don't know how I feel about the Palin diversion -- because that's what she is -- a diversion, a MacGuffin, for something else. A MacGuffin for what, I'm still not sure. Perhaps just to hijack the news cycle. What's obvious is that he did not pick her until the wee hours of Friday morning. There was no promotional material, no signs, barely a bio up on the woman and when McCain introduced her he visibly had to look down and read her name off of a piece of paper. (Skip to the two minute mark on the video.)

They'd only met twice and Friday was that second meeting. And the age gap loomed large as Palin looked closer to 34 than 44 and McCain looks closer to 82 than 72. People said they looked very "father/daughter," you could go even further and argue "Grandfather/granddaughter" if you didn't know that Palin had five kids and was celebrating her 20th wedding anniversary.

I have to admit. I'm rather confused. Some think this is part of some larger, genius GOP trickery, but the GOP has been ... um ... lacking in the genius factor this election. They've mostly looked old and out of shape, a sliver of their usual bare-knuckle, poo throwing selves. After all, the Dems haven't been know for getting their hands bloodied in a fist fight for years now. It's not like they're hard to attack. It's more that the GOP is so demoralized and pathetic, that the Dems are running rampant with Barack Obama doing Tiger Woods-fist-pumps all over the place.

The best attack they could come up with was, "Oooo! Look at that black guy. People like to hear him speak! He's popular! Everyone thinks he's all cool and junk but he's really not and is like, totally a secret Muslim!"

And Obama murdered that schoolyard taunt in his acceptance speech. The one that more than 38 million Americans watched. (Not counting the C-SPAN and PBS audiences Nielsen doesn't track. The Snob family watched it on C-SPAN.)

Perhaps the Obama campaign is even better off than I thought. Maybe we could win? Why else would McCain pull such a high risk/reward pick? It doesn't make sense. When you're ahead, you play safe. When you're worried you hijack a news narrative with a gimmicky, condescending veep choice.

And this opened up McCain's age issue for debate, something the Democrats were holding back from. And it killed their whole "experience" argument. (Which I suppose wasn't working anyway. Who was the last president we actually elected based on "experience?" Oh, yeah. Bush 41 -- the one-termer.) And dear Lord, did they even consider that Hillary Rodham Clinton was HELL BENT on being the first female to get into the White House via Electoral College? She was already going to campaign for Obama out of obligation. Why poke the bear? If she says anything even the slightest eschew Clinton will destroy her.

I'm sure Palin is politically savvy and bright. That's obvious. But she can't have a slip up. Not even a little one. The time is too short between now and election day. One gaffe could kill her, unlike with Obama, Biden and even McCain, who are known entities and can weather a misspoken word or too. She can't fumble. She can't falter. She can't make one false move.

Which again begs to ask, why did McCain pick her? What is he up to?

Since I'm going that this was not something that was "planned" and is more about insecurity than trickery I'm going to posit that the McCain campaign saw something in their internal polling that scared the shit out of them. Perhaps it was the fact that the "experience" argument wasn't sticking or that the statistical dead heat didn't convey how he was really doing in battleground states. Maybe it was all the kumbaya of the DNC convention and Obama's home run hit of an acceptance speech that really drove home the fact that the Republicans, demoralized and depressed, were facing a lackluster convention that might get usurped by Hurricane Gustav.

If that's the case, McCain knew he needed to do something brash. McCain needed to pick someone who could A) make a play for disaffected Clinton supporters before they switched to Team Obama; B) make a play for moderates and centrists who are dazzled by the historic nature of the Obama campaign and C) satisfy the Christian conservative base who don't trust John McCain.

For that McCain was going to need an unconventional woman with culture wars credentials. Amazingly, a lot of Republican women who make it to the big stage in politics are pro-choice. Leaving the plucky Alaskan governor the last woman standing. She was for making abortion illegal -- even in the cases of rape and incest -- causing the hard right to squeal with joy.

So McCain has a woman, but she so far right on cultural issues (from teaching Creationism in schools to seeing homosexuality as immoral) that she might freak out the moderates and centrists if they ever get to know her too closely ... and believe me, the Dems plan on making the world ALL TOO FAMILIAR with Palin and her views.

Hell, she once supported Pat Buchanan in his run for the presidency.

Will this gamble work?

Obviously McCain hopes so. All eyes on Palin have taken the bright lights off Hopey McHopington and Mad Dog McGraw. But all eyes on Palin also means all eyes on Palin. Judgmental eyes waiting to see what she says and does and prying into her personal life, something the nosy media and blogosphere will happily sift through.

I think Obama and Biden, who are obviously at a position of strength, should lay back a bit and let the press do its work. See what this "Palin person" is all about. Let Rahm Emmanuel and the other Democrats push the "WTF!" factor and the age issue. Hang back. See what McCain is up to. Does he actually have an ace in the hole or is Palin one big bluff?

Let McCain have this news cycle. He wants the ever watching media eye on him for a while, so bet it. Have his "own" manufactured hype of a "historic" ticket, go ahead. This "me too-ism" only adds to the desperation factor. Let's see if car has a motor in it, before we charge blindly into what could be the most obvious trap in the history of politics.

Mourning Mittens

While I didn't want Mitt Romney anywhere near 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. I, like many people who enjoy the magical phoniness that is Mitt Romney, am crushed (Crushed, I tell you!) that he won't be available to make fun of for the next 67 days.

It was my dream to see both John McCain and Mitt Romney stand next to each other all sour patches while trying not to vomit or murder one another. Maybe that was the problem. Because if Mitt were veep it would be creepy to have him call every morning to ask John, "How are feeling today? Do you feel the cold hand of the Grim Reaper itching closer? Like they always say, John, go into the light!"

Maybe Gov. Sarah Palin is able to get out her talking points without everyone wanting to take a shower afterwards. But the real victim in all this is me. All I wanted was to have Mittens back for me to kick around. My visions of seeing Mad Joe Biden taking The Crazy to Mittens in a debate. Hearing Mittens lie about things he didn't have to lie about. Tell me how your dad walked with Dr. King again, Mittens! I liked that story!

And I felt sorry for Mittens. As the primary progressed the other Republican ladies-in-waiting started playing John McCain's backup dancers during debates. They would all take turns taking a Louisville Slugger to Mittens' lil' mitts. They just wouldn't stop picking on him. He can't help it that he looks like a game show host and went from being moderate-to-hard right in the span of one soundbite.

He wanted to be president, dammit! He didn't care how. And then people stopped donating so he kept spending his own cash. He was going to purchase what We the People wouldn't deliver. See? McCain could use a guy who could write his own checks, but Romney was denied ... again. Now he sits there, all salty, because he's been shit-grinning and kissing McCain's ass for months and now all that hard work FOR NOTHING. Endorsing him at CPAC where he'd become some conservative folk hero while McCain got booed? FOR NOTHING. Pretending to find McCain smart, impressive, inspiring or dynamic and defending him on TV? FOR NOTHING.

Mittens' kissed ass for more than four months and all he got was yet another slap down from McCain, only this slap down was governor of Alaska for less than two years and doesn't have $220 million.

Boo!

There were so many things I hadn't made fun of yet about you, Mittens. So many things. Like how you look like you style your hair with Armor All and that you stage massive tournaments of charades and Risk with the Osmond family at your compound. There will never be a candidate out of central casting more cheesy than you, and that's what makes you special.

Sigh.

While I work up some material on this, Palin person, I guess I'll just have to wonder what could have been ...

... Made fun of.

What Michelle Wore For Barack's Date with History

If you were wondering who made the printed, multi-colored dress Michelle wore for Barack's acceptance speech wonder no more. Women's Wear Daily claims it was by New York designer Thakoon Panichgul. It is a floral Radzimir kimono dress and part of Panichgul's Spring 2009 collection.

McCain Campaign Looks Into the Eyes of Obama and Blinks, Dipping Into "The Crazy" With Veep Pick

My first reaction was "Who?" Quickly followed by a "what the f...?" To steal the talking heads from gushing about Obama's speech John McCain attempted to throw a curve ball with Gov. Sarah Palin from Alaska.

If his goal was to confuse the shit out of everyone -- mission accomplished!

I get the feeling the McCain campaign made this decision in the wee hours after Obama's speech. After all, the news was supposed to leak at midnight, but it didn't, signaling that the closing of the Democratic National Convention was THAT GOOD. Apparently the spectacle and revelry was not "too much" and "arrogant." Apparently it set just nicely with folks as the awe inspiring rah-rah, "Go, Speed Racer Go!" vibe the Dems wanted.

The Palin pick smells like fear. Fear that the unity of the Clintonistas and the Obama-ites after all that feel good Stevie Wonder backed lovin' could bolster the Obama-Biden ticket to the top. Palin is a Trojan horse meant to sway disgruntled feminist Democrats and lure them to the Republican ticket. And people joked that Biden was an "Affirmative Action" pick -- Palin is like an Evangelical Geraldine Ferraro with an NRA membership, a first time governor who's only in her second year and under investigation according to CNN.

I realize that some Republican players are attempting to spin this WTF into a good thing (She has two whole years of executive experience! She's a social and fiscal conservative! Joe Biden can't slap down a woman in a debate without looking like an asshole!), but she's the governor of Alaska. How many votes in the electoral college does that pull? The Obama campaign is actually "pleased" with the pick as they feel the experience argument is now off the table now that McCain has picked a relatively unknown, not vetted 44-year-old.

On CNN the talking heads are arguing that this pick shows that McCain wants to be seen as the "real" agent of change by this wild card pick. Reporters Suzanne Malveaux and Gloria Borger are reporting that some Republicans are scratching their heads. I think John McCain started dippin' into The Crazy, whippin' out the Maverick card.

Ultimately, people don't pick their president because of their veep selection, but just as it was odd that George "Poppy" Bush picked the dimwitted Dan Quayle to be within a heartbeat of the presidency, McCain, who turned 72 today, has strangely picked an unknown out of fear of the successful public relations coup that was the Democratic National Convention.

Smart move to distract the press and get them to stop cooing about Obama's speech, poor move for the future. If he wanted to pick a woman he should have picked the former head of Hewlett-Packard, Carly Fiorina, Texas Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchinson or Sen. Elizabeth Dole or ANYONE that people have actually heard of. (Fiorina was so effective as a surrogate she was able to tote views I didn't agree with yet I still enjoyed listening to her.)

Is this woman the future of the Republican Party? Is this someone they're going to rally around for president if McCain wins and decides to be a one-termer? Is she prepared to be the leader of the free world if McCain pulls a William Henry Harrison? And is this to generate some excitement? According to CNN, the McCain campaign had to bus people in from out of town because they couldn't wrangle 10,000 in Dayton for this announcement. He had Tim Pawlenty and Mitt Romney there with him, but obviously flenched when Obama painted him as old, staid and out-of-touch.

But out of all this ridiculousness, I'm mostly disappointed that he did not pick my boy "Perfect Hair" Mitt Romney, aka "Guy Smiley" from The Muppet Show. I'm just distraught. No one worked insincerity like Mitt Romney. Every word he uttered sounded like the crowing of a used car salesman.

What will I do? Who will I make fun of? Damn you, Sarah Palin! Damn you!