General Snobbery
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GOP Puts Out Hit On 'Racist' Ron Paul Over Iowa

"Ball so hard, these Republicans wanna fine me."

Man, how worried do you think the GOP is about Ron Paul winning a state? I think they're pretty worried. Like, cry, gnash teeth and pull hair worried. They're actually attacking Ron Paul! With mean words and warnings and EVERYTHING! CNN is chasing him around, demanding "answers" to things! Folks are trying super hard to make that "Ron Paul is probably a racist bigot" thing ... a thing! There's even a fake Twitter about it! He's a Real Live Candidate! 

He's arrived! And he's arrived with the potential to destroy, like Galactus: Devourer of Worlds.

From The Christian Science Monitor:

Paul poses “an existential threat” to Iowa’s cherished first-in-the-nation status, write Jonathan Martin and Alexander Burns in Politico, because he has little chance of winning the GOP nomination. A victory for the Texas libertarian would indicate that the caucuses reward candidates “who are unrepresentative of the broader party,” the pair write.

Damn. What else could a Paul win screw up? The entire election for the GOP? Sure. Why the hell not? He's Galactus. You don't tell Galactus what to do.

From Washington Times Communities:

For many in the GOP and Tea Party movements, Ron Paul is a crank; the crazy uncle of the right, the quack eccentric geezer with the ability to put a wrench in the system. And those are just some of the nicer expressions some conservatives have used to describe him. Is he a crank? Ron Paul supporters certainly do not feel that way. To them, he is a courageous and principled leader who tells it like it really is, an outsider with the power of the people behind him, fighting the bad guys and evil-doers. 


Whether conservative Republican primary voters can overcome the Paul surge will be determined on January 3; but the sizeable political rift that exists between traditional Republicans and Ron Paul supporters may be the real threat to GOP victory in 2012 in Iowa and beyond. 

Beyond? Like a GOP internal war, beyond? C'mon, GOP, establishment. Give me some more "nightmare" scenarios that won't happen. You've got to really scare voters into not voting for this guy and I'm not sufficiently fake frightened enough. So far all you've done is convinced me is that Ron Paul is the new "Pat Buchanan wins New Hampshire in 1996."

All that happens then is everyone freaks out, then you all attack at once and then it's like he was never there. You follow this by nominating Bob Dole. (Or Mitt Romney, whatever. Same difference. Don't fall off a stage, Mitt. You'll never live it down.) And the Democratic incumbent president gets re-elected. 

The only thing changed are the names.

I'm not going to paraphrase Ghandi. I'm totally not. I want to. But I'm resisting the urge of using a non-violent protester's statement about how to know when you're winning a fight to describe the weirdness surrounding Republicans (both establishment and quasi-fringe) as they go apoplectic over Ron Paul. After all, once upon a time they wouldn't even talk about the guy. Now, suddenly, Republicans care about racism (related to Ron Paul). It's a Festivus miracle!

Ron Paul, of whom I find hilarious and will never vote for, is almost assuredly a bigot. But I don't know him personally, so I can only go by what he says, what he votes on, that racist newsletter and whatever he fed son Rand Paul that caused him to grow up to think the Civil Rights Act of A Long Time Ago is bad for businesses because, you know, no business should ever be forced to endure the inconvenience of Negroes With Money.

"They should have never let you #@%$ have money!"The ABSURDITY of it all! Black people aren't supposed to have money! Who let you people have money!?!?! Turn around and hand your money, right now, to the nearest responsible looking white male land owner of at least 18 years of age. Black people with money. What's next? Women voting?

I told a reader who asked me about Paul as much when the reader emailed me over the holiday. They were asking about my opinion the whole racist newsletters from the 90s thing and I was all, "Well, he's a white guy of a certain age from Texas." While not all white guys of a certain age in Texas are racist bigots, they certainly aren't RARE. But I found it unlikely that his supporters would care since it was old business that CNN asked Paul about back when he ran in 2008.

It's hard to get that mad over the letters since we're talking about a Republican field where at least a third of the candidates have already been tainted with some "I think s/he is a racist" chatter. Never mind the ones that I know are racist. (*Cough* Newt Gingrich *Cough*) And then there are the racially clueless who can't even bond with their own kind, let alone others. (Be sure to ask Mitt Romney who let the dogs out while he gets in First Class airplane fight with one of Berry Gordy's kids). 

In fact, the only one I'm not sure about being a potentially not-so-secret horrible racist is Jon Huntsman, since he seems pretty nuanced and understanding about various Mexicans and Chinese people, while everyone else was cheering for war and electrified fences as a "solution" to our various Sino-Mexican complications.

And can you imagine how angry Ron Paul is right now? Angry at himself, of course. He committed the ultimate sin of "having racist shit written down with your name on it," when other Republicans have just committed the sin of "signing shit that could be seen as racist, but you could disavow later" or "saying racist shit you can explain away as not racist because you didn't say the word 'Nigger' (so obviously you can't be racist)" or "hunting near racist shit on land you used to manage and expressing ignorance."

Sucks to be you, Paul. Have fun winning Iowa then getting shot up by Liddy Dole while Barbara Bush drives the caddy slow.

The GOP establishment doesn't play.

Photo Via PaulAndVentura2012

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Reader Comments (4)

Certain noone was surprised by anything out there on this nut. You can smell it on him AND his son before they can be seen. LOL

December 27, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkhrish

Great piece, taking this ‘disturbing’ Republican field and exposing them with sarcasm and wit. If we take these jokers too seriously we might all lose our collective lunch!

December 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTeam Afro

Best line of 2011: The ABSURDITY of it all! Black people aren't supposed to have money! Who let you people have money!?!?!


December 31, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJustice

Very insightful post, and the Galactacus comment is love.

January 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternotasaltine
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