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It's Protest Season In Washington, D.C. Who's Up For A Tea Party?

Wait? What? You say the party doesn't involve me and a bunch of Cabbage Patch Dolls and some My Little Ponies wearing a frou-frou dress and sipping Earl Grey while snacking on macaroons? You lie, sir! You LIE!

From Politico:

Thousands of tea party activists descended on Washington Thursday to air a variety of demands – from the repeal of new health care legislation to the abolition of the Internal Revenue Service and a taxation system they say punishes initiative, to a fuller embrace of Israel – even as organizers encouraged them to unite and shift their focus toward the 2010 congressional elections.

“It is great that we all come together and have these rallies,” Amy Kremer of the Tea Party Express told a crowd of several thousand protestors gathered under a warm midday sun on Freedom Plaza a few blocks from the White House.

Oh. It was THAT kind of Tea Party! I don't like those. I don't think that's the sort of place a nice, nerdy, snobby, "Librul" black girl goes. (Or any kind of black person for that matter.) Papa Snob loves to watch the CNN and try to pick out the black person at the Tea Party. (He also plays this game while watching the Cardinals play at Busch Stadium and ... well ... he does this everywhere actually. It amuses him.) So far the only black Tea Partiers of note I can think of was that crazy dude in St. Louis who claimed some Obama supporters beat him senseless (when they didn't) and that guy who brought the gun to the Obama rally. So black Tea Partiers are a real thing, but rare, like a wild tiger in India or chupacabra. I've never met one, but I've HEARD of them. Represent, you crazy diamonds!

More after the jump.

Right now it's spring in Washington, D.C. and the trees are blossoming and the earth is a lovely emerald green as everything is growing and popping up with vigor. The sun is shining. Birds are chirping. And people are protesting as we enter the delightful spring where D.C. becomes the most idyllic place to stage your populist uprising! Viva la Revolucion! Nothing like winding down Pierre Charles L'Enfant's (hat tip to Benjamin Banneker!) crazy pants notion of civil engineering that we call Washington, D.C.'s streets. These things were NEVER meant to deal with cars. Never. And I keep trying to imagine horses and buggies and I'm just as perplexed. I just see broken wheels and horse-flesh EVERYWHERE in the madness, but then everyone was probably a lot slower then, being "olden times." Pretty city, despite this. Gorgeous, actually. But not driveable. I'm from the Midwest where entire states are just straight lines for cars and mega parking lots. Very driveable. Not pretty, but driveable. I could just turn off the brain and plod down Halls Ferry in a straight line for HOURS.

But I digress. What a gorgeous excuse to get out doors and raise a fuss in the name of ignorance! Can you really blame the Tea Partiers? Can you BLAME THEM? The weather is smashingly good! (Save for the pollen.) One just can't resist cobbling together a hateful homemade sign and running to the Capitol to scream about how you want to take your country back from secret Muslim Kenyan socialists and thuggish ruggish, Daley-esque Chicago Democrats who love them. I mean, it so much fun! How can one resist?! It's Woodstock for LaRouche supporters!

Of course, the Tea Partiers got a collective wedgie out of fear that some leftist infiltrators (really?) from the folks at would eff up their good time by pretending to be Tea Baggers and carrying ever more misspelled signs and saying mockingly hateful things, further slandering a group that does a pretty damn good job of slandering itself. 

How precious!

But their fears were mostly for naught. With the weather being so darn nice (and people needing to do more important things like file their taxes on Tax Day), not a lot of people actually "crashed" the party ... or did they? After all, they were "infiltrators" -- a form of Leftist pod person (or worse, Terminator. I thought I saw something that looked suspiciously like a T-888 on the mall yesterday). And even the educated sometimes struggle to tell the difference between a real Tea Partier and the people who mock them. So hard. It's almost like that game in the newspaper with the two pictures where you circle the seven things that are wrong with the image!

Anyhoo. I'm still going to just enjoy the weather as I'm not really mad enough to protest anything other than commenters who body snark on Malia Obama. Lord, I almost was ready to fire off the mother of all rants in Gawker's comment section over a picture of Malia Obama where some asshat dared to say that she was an uncute child, until I reminded myself "this is Gawker" in the "THIS IS SPARTA" voice and moved on.

But for serious. Don't body snark on the Obama daughters. I will stab you. They are gorgeous and adorable and seem to be taking this whole EVERYONE'S UP IN OUR BIDNESS thing amazingly well. One shoudl only wish them the best and if they have bad things to say they should keep them either to themselves or only express them among their fellow Tea Baggers. The Obama girls are children and did not CHOOSE to this life. They don't need folks giving them complexes for breathing up all the White House air conditioning. They're supposed to breathe it up, dammit.

On that note ... awwwwww. Malia's growin' up so fast! Haters gonna hate, gurl. Haters gonna hate. (Photo via DayLife)

And on a random note: Why does DayLife list Malia Obama as a "musician?" Did she drop an album I didn't know about? EXPLAIN!

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Reader Comments (17)

My we are feeling musical today. Billy Joel and Pink Floyd in one day?

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRoslyn Holcomb

I so want to be a Tea Party infiltrator but I fear that being black and all will give me away. :(

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBuenaventuraAvenue

Sasha looks pissed in that photo. She looks about ready to whoop a teabagger's ass.

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenteremma

(He also plays this game while watching the Cardinal's play at Busch Stadium and

I plan to mock Danielle forever for that apostrophe. #EvilPost

April 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterViK

Look at that "Gangster White House." Michelle Bachmann was right.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDavid Wise

You get out the Cabbage Patch Kids, Danielle, and I’ll bring the Earl Grey and the macaroons! What a wonderful suggestion!

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMarshall Massey

This is Cobb. You don't know me because we haven't been properly introduced. So I wouldn't expect you to, and being a snob myself, I think that is right and proper. We wouldn't want proper ladies traipsing all over the internet looking for friends in all the wrong places. Nevertheless, we are part of your family and wanted to let you know us distant cousins are not so few as your sadly misinformed friends would have you to believe. So I would like to cordially invited you to know us in The Conservative Brotherhood, the Hiphop Republicans and the John Langston Forum.

I happen to be one of the greybeards of the Conservative Brotherhood, and I actually won a best black blogger award. Since I noticed that you were highly ranked, as befits a snob of your stature, I decided to poke around. Nice. Your ranking is well-deserved.

I would humbly suggest that any time you have any doubts about the ability of folks from our large family to deal with politics and policies on the Right side of the American life and experience, that you come and check out our well crafted opinions and stories. I think you'll be interested to know how deep the rabbit hole goes.

By the way, Shay Riley was just in Chicago for tea. I think you'll find her story/a> interesting.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCobb

Cobb: we all know there's a small but statistically-significant number of black conservatives. We all have a crotchety crazy uncle who shows up at Thanksgiving and cranks about black folks moving into the neighborhood. We also know that many more black people are conservative on many social issues, but would rather chew bricks than attend a tea party rally or vote GOP for that matter. And not because they are simple and brainwashed, which is the insulting conservative explanation, or even because they have much love for the lesser-of-two-evils Democrats. But because they have sense enough to know which side their bread is buttered on, and it sure as H-E-Double Hockey-Sticks ain't the GOP side.

Bible says you can't serve two masters, and it's pretty clear which master the GOP serves.

So,kindly go back to your little club house and leave us in peace. We have nothing to learn from you. Snob's got it covered.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Dig it. I don't know what this "To The Manor Born" bit was all about. Truthfully, I never liked the snob motif. I've been reading this blog for other reasons since the spring of 2008. And a black conservative snob is the worst of the worst. Hee, hee

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDavid Wise

Ooh. Snitty. You know what kills me? Prejudiced provincial poseurs. But hey, you've got T shirts wrinkle trick ads to sell. Don't let me get in the way of your buttered bread.

April 17, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCobb

@ Kim: C'mon. Be nice to other readers. Even one's you don't agree with.

@ Cobb: I'm assuming you're referencing that last comment towards Kim although I'm pretty sure she's not selling any T-shirt wrinkle cures here. If you have a question or wish to correspond you can always reach me via email:

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle Belton

if whites can be simple and unthinking in regards to choosing their political parties and who they follow, then blacks are equally as able. same with asians and latinos. unless you think that 90 percent of the black vote that obama recieved was completely because said 90 percent knew the issues. right.


if you can't handle a differing opinion, how strong are you really in yours?

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterswiv

Oh good grief Blacks always vote Dem...Obama got about the same Black percentage votes as did Kerry & Bill Clinton...

April 18, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTia

Oh, dear, that WAS being nice. After all, I said, "kindly." Why, I had no idea he would get so huffy and start talking about t-shirts and wrinkles (I really have no idea what that means.)

But, okay, I won't challenge his ideas anymore if it hurts. Do pardon me.

April 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKim

Evidently, I don't even know who I'm talking to. I guess there's a lot of that going around these days. I apologize to the Original Snob.

April 19, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCobb

Nice post, but it is Pierre L'Enfant, though I just double checked on teh google and his middle name is Charles, but I'm pretty sure he went by Pierre and I've never heard anyone refer to him as Charles before.

April 20, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa J

tee hee hee!!!! Black republicans.... Gotta Love em'!

April 21, 2010 | Unregistered Commenternovanova
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