So The New York Times "expose" on embattled Gov. David L. Paterson finally came out and instead of being Hot!Haute!Hot! it was Not!Nyet!Not! Apparently he has this aide, you see, who is a "scary black man." After all that hype! I read through the thing waiting for the other shoe to drop ("Is he a freak?" "Did he take bribes?" "Are they lovers?") But nada. All we got was some dude with a criminal record of some sorts and may or may not be an asshole. Ooooo. On a scale of political scandals with the perennial "dead hooker/live boy" being a 10 and Hillary Clinton making shizz up (Re: Sarajevo) being an annoying, but not career ending one, this one scored a -11 on the Political Terrorism scale. People thought Paterson was going to exit, stage right, over this? An aide who went through the system and as far as I can tell, has paid his debts to society, started over and now has a iffy background when it comes to maybe or maybe not girlfriend abuse? Again, if aide David W. Johnson is a beater, that's awful. But what's that got to do with Paterson?
Gawker is reporting that this was not the Big! Important! Bombshell! story we were looking for. That there really is a spicier story coming out soon profiling the Governor. I'm not going to hold my breath, but unless that MFer ISN'T REALLY BLIND I don't care. They're predicting he's a drunk in a loveless marriage. Well, welcome to the club, Pattycakes. Does this mean the expose will be full of stories about Gov. Pattycakes getting all tipsy and sad, wandering the halls of the governor's mansion pretending to accidentally grope people just so he can FEEL SOMETHING?!?!?!
Booooo! Hissssss! This is turning into a bull shitty Vickie Iseman redux.